The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
