Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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