just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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