it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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