glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
