It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
