You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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