How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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