Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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