That's intense
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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