we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
