I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
