I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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