don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
