you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
