Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
