we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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