omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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