she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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