i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize