Are we in a gay sports bar?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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