just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
