Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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