There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
