is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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