I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
