i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you win again, gameday.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
