I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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