A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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