What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
