The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
