I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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