i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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