I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
