Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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