I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
