just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
