ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
