Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
