Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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