it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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