Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
