Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
