Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
