handjob tips. give me some.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
