her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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