It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
