Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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