He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
