I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
