He had one of those small greek statue penises
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
